Leaving the cocoon

Earlier this week I told my boss that I would be leaving. Though, this was done with a large amount of prayer and family discussion, it was nonetheless extremely difficult on many levels.

First, I have had to tell several of my friends who are out of work. Second, it is so counter intuitive to leave a nice position when we are in the middle of a worldwide recession.

And, lastly, I had a great job. While it wasn’t perfect all the time (like life!), I had a nice, more than lenient boss (and you know I’m being honest because there’s no performance review now!). Also, it was comfortable. I walked to work. My co-workers were a fun, quirky bunch. And, it was across the street from Whole Foods. (My WF addiction runs deep.)

This has been the safest, happiest I have ever felt with a job. Yet, as I learned in the discernment for lay mission, that makes my calling even more clear. When you run to and not from something ~ it is right.

The Beginning

Last summer I had the wonderful opportunity to accompany my husband on a business trip to South Africa. The short version of the story is that I assumed I’d go, see some interesting animals, take some pictures and come home. Resuming my life as it had been before.

That was not God’s plan.

The moment I believe my heart was broken and I began to hear God’s call was seeing the little boy – maybe 6, maybe older – malnutrition does a number on your height – standing on the street corner. He had cut off the tops of his shoes to give his feet more room. He wasn’t begging. He wasn’t crying in pain. But his image encapsulates in my mind the moment God clearly called me to mission.

Back in my office in Old Town Alexandria, by the umpteenth day that I sat crying, I realized I either had to get over it or do something. Not sure what to do, I turned to our assistant rector. She was so wonderful and understanding. I cried so much to her that I hope she went out and bought Kleenex stock.

Thankfully, she put me in touch with the diocese and from there I was able to being this journey through mission. She also guided me through a discernment process which helped clarify if I was truly being called. And if I was being called, to what or to where was the calling.

I won’t write the thousand and one things that have brought me to this moment. Nor do I believe anyone would want to read them. Rather, this is the where I am in the journey. I am now blessed to be going to Tanzania with the person I call my “mission mentor”. I feel called to take this journey for many reasons, two of which are the spiritual growth I need and the ability to work under an awesome missionary.

I still believe my calling is to South Africa. But I also believe that I must make that journey through this trip to Tanzania.

I am afraid. I am hopeful. And I am mostly so thankful for the opportunities and blessings that are ahead.